In Beginning Anew, Sister Chân Không shares a concrete, four-part process that can help anyone heal relationships with friends, family, co-workers, and romantic partners.

The book beautifully describes the four-step process of Beginning Anew: after a few minutes of quietly sitting together, each person speaks without being interrupted. The first step is to express appreciation of the other person, something we may forget to do and that can lead to people feeling taken for granted. The second step is to express any regrets we have. This is something we often put off, but it gives the chance to directly address any problems in the relationship. The last two steps are for expressing anger and checking in with each other. When practiced regularly, these steps bring deeper understanding and harmony to any relationship.

The awareness that our perception is always incomplete helps us to be humble. When you’re certain about the way you’re seeing something, question your certainty; you could be wrong, or you could be seeing just one aspect of the person or situation. Then you’re ready to use the steps of Beginning Anew as a way to help correct your perceptions so that they’re more in accord with reality.

Sister Chan Khong has been a Buddhist nun in the community of Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh since 1959.

Creating happiness is an art. If during your childhood, you saw your mother or father create happiness in your family, you probably were able to learn that skill. But, if your parents didn’t know how to create happiness in the family, you may not know how to do it. At the Institute for the Happiness of One Person, we will teach the art of making people happy. Living together is an art. Even with goodwill, you can make your partner quite unhappy. Art is the essence of life. We have to be artful in our speech and action. The substance of art is mindfulness. —Thich Nhat Hanh, from the introduction, ‘One Person’s Happiness’

“Sister Chân Không has once again translated the priceless, practical legacy of the Buddha into a form we can use today.”—Michael Nagler, author of The Nonviolence Handbook