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Belonging

Remembering Ourselves Home
Paperback Book
Publisher: 
Her Own Room Press
 | 
December, 2017
ISBN:
9781775111207
In stock now: 
8
$24.95 CAD
Banyen's Description: 

We live in one of the most connected times on earth, but never before have we been so lonely, so alienated from each other, from ourselves, and from the natural world. Whether this manifests as having difficulty finding community, feeling anxiety about your worthiness and place in the world, or simply feeling disconnected, the absence of belonging is the great silent wound of our times.

This is the grand endeavour I like to call Remembership. Most of us think of belonging as a mythical place, that if we keep diligently searching for, we might eventually find. But what if belonging isn’t a place at all, but a skill: a set of competencies, that we in modern life, have lost or forgotten? Like the living bridge, these competencies are the ways in which we can coax, weave, and tend to the roots of our separation—and in so doing, restore our membership in belonging.

In Belonging, Toko-pa Turner explores the origins of our estrangement, how that alienation affects the choices we make as individuals, and as a culture, and what are those skills to which we can apprentice ourselves, to restore a sense of belonging in our lives, and in our world.

As you learn to walk with this ever-allowing, others catch glimpses of their intactness in your mirror. This is the great irony of belonging: that in all your searching for a home of love, it was yours to give away all along. And the real reward of your quest is to fling your doors open and let your life become a shelter of belonging for others.

With her signature depth and eloquence, Toko-pa Turner maps a path to Belonging from the inside out. Drawing on myth, stories and dreams, she takes us into the origins of our estrangement, reframing exile as a necessary initiation into authenticity. Then she shares the competencies of belonging: a set of ancestral practices to heal our wounds and restore true belonging to our lives and to the world.

The turning point in healing my own belonging was the moment when I finally dropped my resistance to pain, against which I had mounted a full-scale opposition, and began to see it as a beggar who’d arrived on my doorstep who I’d been treating as an unwelcome guest. But it was because the conditions of my life were so sweet that this friend finally—perhaps after generations of being outcast—felt safe enough to raise its voice and ask to be welcomed into belonging with me.
 

One after the other, new guests related to my friend arrived on my steps. Anger, resentment, anxiety and depression—each one asking, in turn, to be let into my house of acceptance.

Here’s another gem from this book:

In the breaking open of my heart I am learning to make a true encounter with life. The more I fall in love with it, the sharper the pain of witnessing it becomes. As Arthur Miller once wrote, “I dreamed I had a child, and even in the dream I saw it was my life, and it was an idiot, and I ran away. But it always crept onto my lap again, clutched at my clothes. Until I thought, if I could kiss it, whatever in it was my own, perhaps I could sleep. And I bent to its broken face, and it was horrible…but I kissed it. I think one must finally take one’s life in one’s arms.”
 

In kissing our own beautiful idiot lives, I believe we are contributing to the larger presence we need to cross the threshold of our collective initiation. We are being called to stop turning away from ugliness, to witness the shattering, so that we can consciously participate in the reconstitution of a new world. It’s only in re-membering our wounded, outcast selves that we can belong our world back together.

Toko-pa’s Dream School has grown a network of more than a hundred thousand dreamers all over the world. “In addition to tending dreams, my work focuses on restoring the feminine, reconciling paradox, elevating grief, and facilitating ritual.” For more info: toko-pa.com.

Publisher’s Description: 

Feel like you don’t belong? You’re not alone. The world has never been more connected, yet people are lonelier than ever. Whether we feel unworthy, alienated, or anxious about our place in the world — the absence of belonging is the great silent wound of our times.

Most people think of belonging as a mythical place, and they spend a lifetime searching for it in vain. But what if belonging isn’t a place at all? What if it’s a skill that has been lost or forgotten?

With her signature depth and eloquence, Toko-pa maps a path to Belonging from the inside out. Drawing on myth, stories and dreams, she takes us into the origins of our estrangement, reframing exile as a necessary initiation into authenticity. Then she shares the competencies of belonging: a set of ancestral practices to heal our wounds and restore true belonging to our lives and to the world.

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