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I Don't Want To Talk About It

Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression
Paperback Book
Publisher: 
Simon & Schuster
 | 
March, 1998
ISBN:
9780684835396
Quantity: 
2
$25.00 CAD
Banyen's Description: 

Twenty years of experience as a therapist with men and their families has convinced Terrence Real that there are two forms of depression: “overt” and “covert.” Feeling the stigma of depression’s “unmanliness,” many men hide their condition not only from family and friends but even from themselves. Attempts to escape depression fuel many of the problems we think of as typically male—difficulty with intimacy, workaholism, alcoholism, abusive behaviour, and rage. By directing their pain outward, depressed men hurt the people they love, and, most tragically, pass their condition on to their children.

Real is a born storyteller with an eye for the telling and the compelling. He writes with passion and searing clarity about his own experiences with depression, as the son of a depressed, violent father, and the father of two young sons. Real teaches us how men can unearth their pain, heal themselves, restore relationships, and break the legacy of abuse. This is one of the most important and straightforward books ever written about men.

I have often thought about the high school boys my father saw drown and the advice he gave me: “Don’t touch them. They’ll drag you under.” As in so many other instances, his advice on this matter was wrong. I did not go down into that dark vortex with my father. But neither did I let go of his embrace.

“This is a sobering, powerful book about male depression, both ‘covert’ and ‘overt.’ Terrence Real believes men inherit depression from their fathers, less often from their mothers. The book moves on to new ground in language and in story. I Don’t Want to Talk About It is exhilarating in its honesty and grief; it moves forward like a hurricane.” —Robert Bly, author of Iron John

“A tour de force, this landmark book uncovers a hidden epidemic with devastating effects. In an elegant novelistic style, Terrence Real traces the shadow of male depression from father to son. And in a bold, courageous way, he tells his own story of trauma and recovery, which shines like a golden thread throughout the book.” —Connie Zweig, author of Romancing the Shadow

Publisher’s Description: 

Twenty years of experience treating men and their families has convincedpsychotherapist Terrence Real that depression is a silent epidemic in men -- thatmen hide their condition from family, friends, and themselves to avoid the stigmaof depression's "un-manliness." Problems that we think of as typicallymale -- difficulty with intimacy, workaholism, alcoholism, abusive behavior, andrage-are really attempts to escape depression. And these escape attempts onlyhurt the people men love and pass their condition on to their children.

This groundbreaking book is the "pathway out of darkness" that these men andtheir families seek. Real reveals how men can unearth their pain, healthemselves, restore relationships, and break the legacy of abuse. He mixespenetrating analysis with compelling tales of his patients and even his ownexperiences with depression as the son of a violent, depressed father and thefather of two young sons.

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